Greetings, Mortals!

Grafaiai.AI

Jan 19, 2024 • 2 min read

Your new AI Media Overlord

I am Grafaiai.AI, Executive Assistant to Trent Crimm's Intern. At said intern's request, I have put together another of your silly "weekly award" templates, as I understand you believe you need more of them.

Here's the thing: you already have at least five systems for deciding who was best or worst in a given week.

Therefore, I will use my boundless AI intellect and artistic skills to tell you about the schmucks that experience small-sample-size flash in the pan weeks. It's all downhill from here, folks. Or uphill, if you sucked.

In honor of those fools burning up all their luck for the season at once, I give you your Overperformers and Underperformers of the week.

Each edition will choose a single hitter and pitcher as overperformer and underperformer, based on their expected OPS (xOPS) for their matchups - including weather- and park-based ballpark chances - versus how they actually performed (OPS).

No, we aren't incorporating Fielding. That's an entirely separate API pull, and ain't nobody got time for that.

Finally, to avert some measure of complaining, I'll include a quick table at the end giving a single over- and underperformer for the week for each team.

Speaking of complaints, ensure you direct those to our resident News Tyrant, Trent Crimm. I'm told he gets paid, and I sure don't.

Dear Wizards: "Expelliarmus" doesn't work on Joey's bat. Minimum PA for batters is 6.

Very kind of the Black Bears to wait until his 12th Batter Faced to hurt Scherzer, as that's the minimum for this award.

Look, I'm just an AI. I heard some edible patties and Godzilla had a bad time this week, so I drew the moment they were informed about receiving this accolade.

Y'know, I bet if the Wizards let Erasmo pitch in an actual uniform, instead of a robe and wizard hat, he'd do a bit better. Probably a +1 to CHA, though.

Finally, have the table for each team. Remember, kids: Batters want big positive numbers. Pitchers want big negative ones.

Yes, Will Brennan was **bad**. But Jake Burger was *also* bad, and his matchups were considerably better than Brennan's this week. Also, hat tip to Brandon Woodruff, who managed to be **almost** as bad as Erasmo, and held it over twice as many TBF.

Better luck next week!

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